Little Things
by Sargaetorian
Summary: It's the little things about Naruto that made Sasuke smile. The bells of his laughter, the quirk to his lips... It's the little things that Sasuke would miss the most. Sasunaru oneshot.


**A/N: **This is a story that's going to be a lot different from my other stories. This one's all about the angst. It's a oneshot, dedicated to one of my best friends. It's really not an easy thing, finding out that both of your parents have cancer and that they only have four years left. She's the last person who would deserve that. Enjoy.

* * *

**Little Things**

"Come on, Naruto. You need to eat something."

Naruto opened his eyes, looking at the concerned face of his lover as he hunched over the edge of the bed, a steaming bowl and a spoon held in his hands. Naruto managed a weary smile. "Sasuke. You don't have to do this. You haven't eaten for just as long as I have."

"But with your condition, you shouldn't strain yourself!" Sasuke's expression was distraught, desperate; it was so unlike his usual haughty demeanor. "You have to get stronger, your operation-"

"Sasuke." The name came out as more of a sigh from Naruto's lips. "When the papers come for my treatment, I will not sign them."

Sasuke's eyes widened, his expression blank. "…Naruto."

Naruto turned his gaze from Sasuke to the ceiling. "It's up to you what you want to do from now on."

"What I want is for you to get well again! Isn't that what you wanted?" Sasuke's eyes were drowning in despair. "Isn't it what you've been fighting for all this time?"

"I just want you to be happy, Sasuke."

"This isn't what'll make me happy, Naruto! Look, once you have the operation, you'll be perfectly fine again! We'll be together!" Sasuke's voice broke.

Naruto chuckled. "We both know that's not true. If the survival rate is less than thirty percent…well, it would crush you even more if it failed."

"What about that twenty nine percent? Shouldn't that count for something?!" A sheen of tears turned Sasuke's eyes from black to gray.

"It's what I want, Sasuke."

"It's not what I want!" His deep voice cracked, barely hiding a sob. "Just for once… Am I not allowed to be selfish for just once in my life? I had so many things planned for us! A future, a family…"

"You're so easy to read, Sasuke. Is that why you wanted that trip? Just to ask me?" Naruto's smile grew just a bit wider. "That's so like you."

"Please, rethink this-"

"I'm sorry. I just don't want you to be alone anymore."

"I won't be if I just have you with me." A sob escaped Sasuke's throat.

Naruto was silent.

"Please, at least tell me…what would your answer be? Even if we can't be in Paris or Italy for it…I want to know. More than anything in the world."

Naruto laughed. "I'll think about it. I'll get the answer to you." Naruto smiled warmly at Sasuke. "Get some rest. You need it." Naruto raised his hand, tracing the shadows under Sasuke's eyes gently.

"Are you sure you're not hungry?" Sasuke knew it was pointless to argue. Naruto had always been stubborn.

"I'm not a kid, Sasuke!" For the first time in a long while, Sasuke saw a hint of the fiery blonde Naruto used to be in the blue eyes. "I'll feed myself."

Sasuke stood , brushing the hair back from Naruto's forehead. The golden strands had grown out a good inch or so, but it didn't diminish Naruto's beauty. Rather, it enhanced it. "You'd better eat that," Sasuke warned.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto waved Sasuke off. "You'd better sleep for once, Sasuke."

Sasuke bent over the bed and kissed Naruto on his tanned forehead. It was almost unreal, how Naruto could spend weeks inside and still retain his bronze complexion. "Goodnight."

"'Night," Naruto whispered, watching with a hint of sadness as the door closed behind Sasuke's back.

* * *

Sasuke knew how much Naruto hated hospitals. He knew how Naruto hated needles even more. He watched as the blond squeezed his eyes shut, holding his breath as the needle went in.

"It's over, Naruto." Sakura's gentle voice murmured. Sakura. She'd been Naruto's best friend for as long as Sasuke could remember. She was a strong woman, with toned arms and broad shoulders. Her pink hair was cut short, the shiny strands always slipping past her ear and curling into her face when she leaned forward. She'd push it back, an irritated look upon her face, but it wouldn't be long until it slipped past again. She'd always preferred a lab coat rather than the traditional nurse garb. With her appearance, no one would ever expect such a kind, soft voice to come from her lips.

Sasuke could see Naruto inhale and exhale rapidly, clenching his fist, a muscle jutting from his jaw. "Thanks, Sakura."

"Don't rip the I.V. out, now," Sakura replied, an amused lilt in her voice. "You should get used to the needle in a few days. Sasuke, you should probably watch over him more often than usual. Don't let him tamper with it in any way, and don't let him shift the needle.

Sasuke sighed a bit through his nose. Sakura could be quite commanding when she put her mind to it. "I understand." He stood, leading Sakura downstairs and to the front door.

"Thanks for coming by," he breathed as he opened it slightly. "We really appreciate it."

Sakura hefted her bag, smiling. "It's no problem. Call if anything's the matter, alright?"

"I'll be sure to."

"Take care of yourself, Naruto!" She called before stepping into the windy night, the autumn chill blowing into the house. "Bye, Sasuke."

"Bye." Sasuke closed the door, leaning against it for a while and holding his head in his hands. When had it all spiraled out of control like this?

Sasuke blinked back the stinging sensation in his eyes and walked back upstairs, opening the door to Naruto's room.

"How is it?" he asked. Naruto was sitting back on his pillows, staring at the ceiling. He did that quite a lot these days.

"Fine. Better."

"White lie." Sasuke whispered. "You hate needles."

The corners of Naruto's mouth turned up. "You know me too well."

"Not well enough, it seems. So, what's your answer?" Sasuke unconsciously crossed his fingers.

"I'm still thinking."

* * *

Naruto stared out the window. Flurries of soft white snowflakes fell slowly past, piling on the windowsill and catching in the screen. "Sasuke?"

"Yes?" Sasuke looked up from his book, seated in his usual spot at Naruto's side. The bulky machine of the heart monitor that Sakura had brought in a few days earlier had been carefully pushed to a more convenient location.

"Do you remember how, on our first date, you told me you played violin?"

"Yes." Sasuke was surprised. The blonde had been so fidgety and absentminded that day, he didn't seem like he'd listened to anything that Sasuke had been talking about. Most of their conversations were like that, though; full of pointless words that fell from the lips as water slid through fingers. They were hardly worth remembering, but Sasuke drank in every word Naruto spoke as if it were a gift from a god.

"Will you play something for me?" Naruto wasn't looking at Sasuke, but he could hear the pleading tone in the voice.

"I don't have it with me."

"Mine's under the bed." Naruto sounded childishly hopeful.

Sasuke bent with a grunt, reaching and feeling his way in the enclosed space with his hand. He grazed something hard, and immediately grabbed it and pulled it out. The case was somewhat dusty, the particles flying into the air as Sasuke set the case on his lap. When he opened it, the violin was pristine, though obviously used. "Since when did you play violin, Naruto?"

Naruto laughed. "When I first saw you playing at that concert, it made me want to play too. Bought the violin and everything. I was too clumsy, though. It just didn't work out."

Sasuke smiled slightly at the memory. The concert where he'd met Naruto… it had been one of the most magical moments of his life. He picked the violin up, lifting it up and down, getting accustomed to the weight. Setting the violin down, he picked up the bow, tightening the hairs and running the rosin up and down the bow. When he was satisfied with the condition of the bow, Sasuke lifted the violin and placed it under his chin, playing a few notes on the instrument. It clearly needed to be tuned, but it was an easy problem to fix.

Sasuke poised the bow over the strings, racking his head for a song to play. It had been so long since he'd held a violin. He passed his eyes over Naruto, who was still looking out the window, though his tensed shoulders told Sasuke that he was listening for the sound of the violin. His memories ran back to the first concert, and after a moment, Sasuke smiled and pressed the strings down, and began to play.

His bow ran up and down in long strokes against the strings of the violin, producing loud and strong notes. The air vibrated with the music and thrummed with his vibratos. He looked up from his hands and saw that Naruto too wore a nostalgic smile upon his lips as the melody of Silent Night rang throughout the house.

The last note faded to nothing, and Sasuke's hands lowered. "Do you have an answer for me now, Naruto?"

Naruto turned to him, a bright grin on his face. Sasuke hadn't seen a smile like that on Naruto's visage in months. "Almost."

* * *

Sasuke hated hospitals. Just as much as Naruto hated needles, he hated the smell of the disinfectant and various other solvents drifting through the stale air, and he hated the weak cries of the ill. The places made him uneasy, and to know that the one he loved was one of the detained…the thought made him unbearably sad.

"Sasuke!" Sakura greeted him, her hair swinging in her face before Sakura shoved it back impatiently. "Naruto's been dying to see you!"

Sasuke managed a smile and sped up his walking. "Which room is he in?"

"Come with me." Sakura grabbed his wrist and led him through the other nurses and doctors, practically running and dragging Sasuke behind her. She stopped abruptly at a door in a rather quiet ward, putting a finger to her lips and opening the door quietly.

"Naruto," she stepped forward into the dimly lit room. "There's someone here to see you."

"Who is it?" Naruto's voice sounded weak, quieter than normal. It scared Sasuke, chilling him from the core.

Sasuke stepped into the room and looked around. The spring sunshine was streaked on the floor, blindingly white against the linoleum, while the curtains hid the view of the blue sky. Sasuke focused his eyes on Naruto, and had to blink back his tears once more.

He was emaciated. His skin was still bronzed, but it lacked the healthy glow it once bore proudly. Naruto's collarbone was starkly visible against his sunken chest, and his arms had grown more bony that Sasuke remembered. Naruto himself lacked life; there was no cheeriness and no energy radiating from the blonde as it used to, and that was the part that scared Sasuke the most.

He rushed to sit by Naruto's side, clasping his lover's hand in his own. "I never should have left you here," Sasuke whispered. "I'm sorry…"

"Sasuke, I wouldn't have wanted you to risk your neck on the ice," Naruto smiled, a hint of his teeth gleaming in the dim light. "It's barely melted, and you're still here."

"How could I not be?" Sasuke's voice was muffled, as he'd pressed his lips against Naruto's hand.

Sasuke heard Naruto's soft sigh, the rustle of fabric loud in the silent room as Naruto nestled himself further into his pillows.

"Before you ask…" Naruto began. "I'm almost ready."

* * *

"It's summer, Sasuke!"

"You shouldn't have gone out either way! What if something happened? What if-" Sasuke couldn't speak past the lump in his throat.

Naruto was silent, lifting one hand and running it down the side of Sasuke's face. Sasuke could see his painfully frail body trembling from the exertion of just that simple movement.

"I'm sorry, I… I know I shouldn't have snuck out." The hand dropped limply, the fall cushioned by the white cotton of the thin bedsheets. "I just hate this. Wasting away in a hospital bed, no one to talk to, lying down day in and day out…"

"There's always me." Sasuke picked the hand up and ran his fingers over the palm, tracing the lines with feather-light touches.

"Yeah, there is." Naruto smiled softly.

"Do you have an answer yet?" Sasuke asked. He didn't want to push Naruto, but the wait was too long for Sasuke's impatient standards.

"It's close." Naruto whispered.

* * *

"Did you bring it?" Naruto's voice was weak and trembling.

"…Yeah. I did." There was no way Sasuke could have refused Naruto's plea.

He sat, swinging the violin case into his lap. Though he'd only played it once or twice in the past few years, it was already becoming a routine again: Open the case, tighten the bow, rosin the bow, pick up the violin, tune, play. Sasuke didn't mind, though. It was a small price in return for the content, peaceful look Naruto would opt for as he listened in rapture as Sasuke played.

The bow swept along the strings in grand motions, the violin producing huge and deep tones without a squeak. More than once, nurses and doctors stopped to poke their heads around the door with the intent of telling Sasuke to stop. Upon seeing them, however, their eyes would soften, and they would back away and close the door without so much as a sound.

Naruto was coughing into his fist as the song ended, and Sasuke dropped the bow and violin to help Naruto sit up. The coughs racked his small body, and the rumbling scratchiness of each convulsion seemed to emanate from Naruto's narrow chest. Sakura rushed in, her eyes wide. She frantically waved Sasuke off, telling him to come back later once Naruto's coughs had subsided.

Sasuke was frozen in place, staring in horror as Naruto's coughs rapidly dropped to hoarser and raspier noises, as if he were screaming his despair from inside. Naruto forced open one clouded blue eye, fixing it on Sasuke.

"A-"he convulsed again, Sakura holding her stethoscope to his chest. "Almost," he rasped, Sakura chiding him for trying to speak.

It was enough for Sasuke, however, and he took his leave with a smile on his lips.

* * *

"Sasuke?" Sakura's voice sounded strangely tinny over the device. "You should come…Naruto...he's stopped responding to us."

Sasuke snapped the phone shut and ran to his car, not caring to grab his shoes or his coat. He sped down the roads at a speed that was probably enough for him to be jailed at the spot, but he didn't care. It was all he could do to hold himself together.

Naruto was lying on his back as Sasuke burst in, his chest rising and falling shallowly under the covers. He looked peaceful enough, but Sasuke could tell that each heave of his chest was causing him unbearable pain. Sasuke glanced at the heart monitor. Each upward spike and downward dip was shallow, more shallow than Sasuke had ever seen before. It was almost impossible to believe that this was the man that, a few months ago, was the hot tempered, hyperactive, clumsy blonde he'd loved.

Sasuke sat down with a heavy thump, sighing. He couldn't leave Naruto's side, not this time. He fiddled with his hands in his lap for some time, listening to the steady beep of the machines in the room, until his eyes focused on the violin case lying on the ground.

Sasuke picked it up, running his fingers along the bumpy surface. Naruto had always loved the sound of violins. It wouldn't hurt to sing lullabies to the blonde once more with the weathered instrument.

As the bow began to whittle out yet another hauntingly beautiful melody, Naruto's mouth twitched.

* * *

As winter began to approach once more, Sasuke received a phone call from Sakura as he was heading home from work.

As soon as he saw the number appear on his screen, he didn't have the energy, nor the will, to answer the call.

He knew.

The world became a blur.

* * *

Sasuke didn't go to the services.

It was too much.

It was all too much.

* * *

It was a few days before Sasuke could bother to rouse himself out of bed in the morning. The house felt cold and empty without its other occupant. Sasuke slowly made his way downstairs, spotting his cell phone on the counter.

Thirty one missed calls. They were all from Sakura.

Sasuke sat with a mug of coffee on the table in front of him. He made no move to reach for the cup. He could only stare blankly ahead, his mind full of the little things he'd never appreciated of his lover.

The shade of blue that could only ever belong to Naruto's eyes.

The small quirk to his lips whenever he grinned.

The way he shone to Sasuke, as if he were the sun itself.

The way he'd always put Sasuke before himself.

Sasuke mindlessly began to dress himself, pulling on his coat.

Before he knew it, he was shutting the door to his car and walking up the snowy front steps to the hospital, the frosty winds whistling past his ear.

When he entered, Sakura was already waiting for him, the violin case that had formerly belonged to Naruto held in front of her.

"He wanted you to have it." Her eyes were red rimmed, and Sasuke could tell she was trying desperately hard not to cry, despite the watery, smiling façade she'd hidden behind.

"Thank you," Sasuke spoke quietly, his voice rough from lack of use. He took the case from her and opened it carefully, his fingers caressing the blue velvet lining. "Hm?"

"What is it?" Sakura stepped around him to look over his shoulder. "What's on the piece of paper?"

Sasuke racked his brains, trying to think of anything it could be. He couldn't think of anything Naruto would leave behind.

Sasuke unfolded the paper, the creases slightly uneven. The paper blossomed as he worked out its last kink, and a smile surfaced for the first time in days on Sasuke's handsome face.

'_**I would have said yes.'**_

"What does that mean?" Sakura asked curiously.

Sasuke laughed quietly. "Naruto could read me like an open book. He knew, that day… He knew I was going to propose to him on our trip."

A genuine smile replaced Sakura's teary one. "Naruto was always good at that sort of stuff."

They bid each other goodbye, and Sasuke closed the violin case and exited the hospital.

The snow was swirling around him, and faintly, Sasuke could hear the sound of cars and the mingled voices of civilians from the park situated next to the hospital. He chose to bypass his car, and instead pushed open the tall metal gate leading into the large park. There were children playing in the snow, his friends waved at him, and there were dozens of happy couple strolling about and holding hands. The sight made Sasuke a bit sad, but he chose to smile instead.

He walked to the center of the park, where he and Naruto had often sat under the sakura tree that grew there.

He set the case down and pulled out the violin and bow, sheltered from the snow by the thick branches.

And he began to play.

* * *

**A/N: **There you have it. It's not the best written story out there, but I'm relatively happy with it.

My sincere sympathies to anyone who has ever had to deal with anything like this. It's the worst thing in the world, when you can't do anything about it.

Upon rereading this, I noticed that there might be some confusion. Naruto was hospitalized, but he's not going through with the treatment. It's the difference between actively treating what illness the patient has and just attempting to keep them alive. It's a doctor's job at the bare minimum.

Reviews are always appreciated, and I hope you enjoyed this little oneshot. I'll be working on my other fics later, but right now I need to cheer myself up. Ja ne! -Sarge


End file.
